dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
