there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
