how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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