i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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