you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
