Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
