i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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