Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
