you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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