i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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