There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
