I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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