At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
