I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
