my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
