u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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