who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
