I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
