Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
