I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm like, not good at living.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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