there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am naked and annoyed.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
