Do you still have your period?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
