Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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