guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
