She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
