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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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