okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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