Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
