This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
