the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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