You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
