so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
