So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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