i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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