ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
