Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
