i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
