Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
