i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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