their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
