I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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