I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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