So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
