When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
