i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
