i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
pray to the hookup gods
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
