i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
smell my finger.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
