i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
