ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
