I must be too annoying 4 u.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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