Porn is love you can see.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
