cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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